Deeper Dive: Arbitrary Dreams and Fantasies

In this deeper dive, I explore the ways in which arbitrary dreams and fantasies can impair our ability to enjoy life and pursue rational goals.

About Deeper Dives: For those of you who have supported my work by becoming paid subscribers to this Substack, I write supplemental articles to some of my regular weekly posts. These “deeper dives” have a less formal structure than the main article, consisting of my current thinking on a particular aspect of the main article’s subject.

In my recent article “Liberate Your Mind by Rejecting the Arbitrary,” I described how letting go of arbitrary ideas, and particularly arbitrary fears, can bring mental peace and help us flourish in life. In this deeper dive, I want to explore how a particular kind of arbitrary idea—arbitrary dreams and fantasies—can detach our minds from reality and impede our enjoyment of life. By “arbitrary” in this context, I mean dreams and fantasies about things that we desire on a basis other than evidence that they’re rationally valuable or achievable.

We all have unrealistic dreams when we’re children. I had many—I often dreamt of building my own rocket and becoming the first child in space. These dreams are not necessarily arbitrary—they are often based on legitimate values such as discovery, heroism, and exploration. But as we grow older, we recognize that these goals are so far removed from reality as to be completely impossible, and we let go of them. Unfortunately, we often go too far and abandon the spirit of curiosity and optimism those dreams represented. 

But we continue to entertain dreams and fantasies of a less outlandish, more down-to-earth nature, about such things as relationships, jobs, and wealth. These can be rational and inspire us to achieve things that will benefit our lives, but they can also be based on arbitrary whims, disconnected from reality, and ultimately impossible to achieve.